Rolling With The Punches

Parshas Vayishlach: Celebrating the struggle

The world wants winners, and that's all there is to it.

Our voracious appetite for the heroic victor is visible in every corner of public life. Forget flair; sports stars must know how to win at all costs – even if it means to ‘win ugly’. Politics is a dirty game. Nice guys flounder, whilst those with the Machiavellian killer instinct thrive. A university's prestige is not established on its academic vision but on the percentage of alumni employed by top investment firms. From Marxism to utilitarian capitalism, modern philosophies describe their ultimate objectives in terms of calculable wealth and power.

We are a society of haves and have-nots, winners and losers. Considering ours is an age that markets most commercial boxing matches as life and death, zero-sum game, 'winner takes all' extravaganzas, what must we make of Yaakov's confrontation with Eisav's Angel in this week's Parsha?

Yaakov remained alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. He [the man] saw that he could not defeat him [Yaakov], and he struck the socket of his hip. Yaakov's hip joint was dislocated as he wrestled with him. {Bereishis 32:25-26}

Our Rabbis of blessed memory explained that he [the man] was Eisav's guardian angel (Rashi ad. loc.)

The Torah's portrayal of this lacklustre encounter may be underwhelming, but its outcome further baffles contemporary sensibilities. There was not a clear-cut victory. Yaakov was the one who was seriously wounded, not Eisav's angel. Nevertheless, the angel effectively concedes and honours Yaakov with a prestigious name as a reward (or commemoration) for his efforts:

He [Eisav’s angel] said, “No longer will your name be called Yaakov, but as Yisrael, for you have contended with divine beings and with men, and you have won.”

Thus, we find ourselves facing a bizarre turn of events. Somehow this formerly ferocious, Satanic entity has morphed into a mild opponent who rewards Yaakov for his mere participation in the fight. How is the fact that Yaakov evades defeat equated with a declaration of victory by Eisav's angel? Was Yaakov really a winner? There must be more to Yaakov's struggle than it initially appears.

Critically, the commentaries are unanimous that this was not a physical conflict, as we might imagine. Indeed, the entire affair is replete with supernatural symbolism that we won't explore now. But there should be no doubt that this battle was primarily a spiritual confrontation. The key to understanding the truth of Yaakov's triumph is re-examining what we assume to be a benchmark of success in the spiritual realm. To do so, we must take a look at a characteristically cryptic yet brilliantly illuminating verse from Mishlei:

Praiseworthy is the man who finds Wisdom,

The man who attains understanding.

For its trade is better than the trade of silver,

Its produce is better than fine gold. 

{Mishlei 3:13-14}

Wisdom, in this reference, is a connection to the Torah and its spiritual values. What’s striking is the expression ‘its trade'; the word 'trade' appears superfluous. Why not simply tell us that her value is 'better than silver?

The additional word 'trade' is probably what the author of the work, Bais Yaakov intended to address with the following lesson drawn from the verse. Spiritual gain is not merely quantitively better than hedonic physical pleasure; it is qualitatively different. How so? Acquisitions in this world are payoffs for particular pursuits. Managing a company is merely a method for CEOs to amass money in their bank accounts. Rigorous work is the route to reward, not the reward itself.

In contrast, spirituality is evaluated based on effort rather than the outcome. A materialistic perspective is turned on its head by this approach:

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According to the spiritual paradigm, goals are not seen as an end but as a means to promote progress. The very act of sustained growth is considered an independent triumph.

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Mishlei's metaphor for the state of Torah living is value ‘in trade' because religion can never be a stagnant number on a spreadsheet. The concept of trade implies a hub of business and activity. It teaches that a person can only forge genuine spiritual integrity as part of an ongoing, active process. 

We now understand why Yaakov didn't have to conquer his opponent in combat to be lauded as the victor. It was never about winning. The fact that Eisav's angel was "unable to defeat him” is evidence that the battle was not abandoned but is ongoing. Consequently, Yaakov remained in a state of internal advancement.

Spiritual growth can be a source of immense frustration for many. Often we have an exact picture of what we want to achieve and who we want to become. Whilst such an attitude may offer short to mid-term motivation, looking back and wondering what became of our dreams can be soul-crushing. Having studied in Yeshiva, I wonder how much of my earlier desire to be a 'Talmid Chacham' wrongly came from the same place as a university student aspiring to be a famous barrister. In such a sense, secular society's value system had infiltrated my own.

"Success [...] cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only occurs as the unintended side effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself", Victor Frankl would declare.

Of course, we need goals to facilitate spiritual development, but we should never forget the fundamental purpose of striving to develop a relationship with God. Life doesn't pull punches and is guaranteed to knock us down repeatedly. Victory is undoubtedly sweet, but sometimes like our ancestor Yaakov, God wants us to struggle.

Win or lose, ultimately - it is the struggle that counts. 

Good Shabbos, and Keep Pondering