What Torah Means To Me

Shavuos: Contemplating our greatest gift

With Shavous around the corner, I have been reflecting on Torah study's transformative role in my life. I've been blessed to study Yeshiva and Kollel over the last few years. However, total immersion in any activity leaves little time for reviewing its broader significance. Taking time to pause is essential in any pursuit, and writing this has helped reaffirm Torah's meaning to me. Everyone has unique ways of engaging with the Torah, but I hope others will still find value in my piece.

Two aspects come to mind when I consider my Torah learning involvement. The first is Torah's sweetness, a realm of delight familiar to those who drink its waters. The second is the awe-inspiring teachers I have encountered. Through a lifetime of study, these colossal individuals have been defined and moulded through their interaction with the Torah. I plan to touch on both ideas. Words will never do justice to these profoundly subjective stirrings, and trying to capture them in writing is a fool's errand. But I will continue nonetheless.

The Ohr HaChaim famously writes:

If people perceived Torah's sweetness and goodness, they would be enraptured and infatuated with it. A world full of silver and gold would be nothing in their eyes because the Torah includes all good in existence. {Devarim 26:11}

When I was seventeen, I started reading an English translation of Rabbi Shimshon Pincus's talks on Torah learning. It was in English because, at that time, I could not understand Hebrew text. Yet the fiery passion Rav Pincus exuded throughout his talks left a lasting impression on me. Rav Pincus lived his entire life in purity and service of God, and I found his profoundly authentic spirituality reflected even in the printed word. I was instantly hooked and embarrassingly highlighted so much of the book that it became unusable.

Rabbi Pincus's thinking incorporates an eclectic blend of Torah styles and traditions. This wasn't something I appreciated at the time, but it foreshadowed what I now find so captivating about Torah thought. Whilst Talmud study is undoubtedly the bread and butter of a healthy Torah diet, the oral Torah corpus comprises a vast assortment of approaches, styles and traditions. These spheres range from legal, to ethical, from kabbalah to philosophy, incorporating chassidus, machshava and dikduk, to name a few.

How does one feel encountering such a comprehensive and multifaceted range of religious thought? A close friend once compared the Mir Yeshiva to a bustling open marketplace. Markets are enjoyable for browsing a range of wares unrelated to primary interests. So in the Mir, one is exposed to groups studying every topic under the sun, even if forced to focus on the subject he is tackling. I feel the same way about the Torah corpus in general. To step into a seforim store is to be overwhelmed by a wonderland of diverse treasures—a tangible reminder of Jewish thought's richness and breadth.

Of course, I must address in-depth Talmud study. Talmud learning stimulates creative and analytical brain functions. Immersion in a complex sugya grips one's mind unlike anything else. One feels inextricably caught up in an ongoing exchange spanning millennia, Rabbinic commentators of every place and age grappling for the meaning of our sacred text. Ultimately, the Talmud student is rewarded with a more profound understanding of the text, having undertaken an interactive, intellectual exploration alongside Judaism's greatest sages.

In Parsha's Netzavim, the Torah is called a shirah, a song. Through a moving discourse, Rav Yosher Ber Soloveitchik describes how Torah properly studied is not simply the imbibing of raw data but a profoundly subjective aesthetic experience. When we remember information, facts and figures, we recall them as external to ourselves. But when we dwell on a song, it emerges from our inner landscape. As we absorb Torah's wisdom and beauty, it becomes part of our identity.

In this line of thinking, kabbalistic thought compares Torah to Mazon, food. The Baal Hatanya explains that whilst our interaction with what we eat lasts for the duration of a meal, the content of our consumption becomes part of our body's physical make-up. Likewise, Torah not only affects a person as they learn but ultimately shapes our very nature —becoming a component of one's spiritual DNA. Through my personal Torah journey, I have been blessed to meet teachers whose personas are defined through Torah. Talmidei Chachamim, for whom God's word was a pulsating living reality. These individuals taught me that proper Torah study transcends mere intellectual pursuit. It must transform a person. Their message and example contrast starkly with secular academics whose abstract speculations have no practical implications in their daily lives.

After several years of study, the Torah remains an inexhaustible well of wisdom, insight, and beauty. And I know I have only scratched the surface. Learning it is an ongoing journey, a life-long pursuit. It is a tool to unlock our souls' innermost reaches and draw us closer to our creator. "Learning", said Rav Soleveitchik, "is simply a dialogue, a colloquy between God and Man, between an all-wise teacher and an all-ignorant pupil". In this ongoing conversation, we are never alone. It is impossible for us to appreciate God's greatest gift, the Torah, fully. But this Shavuos, let's try!